That’s All

December 26, 2007

3 of the 6 papers I had to write are done and I have one & a half weeks left to finish the other 3.  AHHHH!!!  just kidding, its not that bad.  woohoo! 

Let’s see…got to spend time with family, I’m actually here now.  Then I’ll be flying up north to spend some time away and with a couple of friends.  It’ll be my first ever, New Years away from my family – that’ll be wierd.  Hopefully I can get some work done while I’m up north. 

Anyway, that’s it for now.  See ya!

SAVING GRACE…and HOPE

December 18, 2007

So, I’m writing a paper on hope, which should’ve been done a while ago.  Anyway, I’m listening to my iTunes and a song came up that I used to listen to when I just graduated college.  It reminded me of all that went on during the time thereafter. 

Matt just died and while I knew the truth, it really didn’t seem like the comfort that was promised was comforting.  I thought through that memory and I am so thankful for that period in my life.  It was hard.  Its hard to lose a best friend so suddenly.  I’m still learning today, what was so hard for me to learn then, surrender. 

The chorus of this song reads, “My Saving Grace, my endless Love.  Deeper and deeper I’m falling in love with You.  My One desire, my only Truth.  Deeper and deeper I’m falling in love with You.”  I started to evaluate if those words were as true of me today as they were then.  I remember listening to this song years ago and really wanting nothing else in life than just to be with Christ, to know Him more and to give my life for that as Paul says in Philippians 3. 

Then I proceeded to think about my life and all that God did or allowed to get me to that very desire.  I didn’t have a very difficult life but it wasn’t easy either.  I started to think about people, places, lessons and God, His Word and more people, and more places and more lessons.  So much.  Then I thought about all that has happened from the time I last listened to this song until I started listening to it a couple of minutes ago.  Still, God, His Word, more people, more places, more lessons.  Really cool and some of it really sad – I am very thankful, truly I am. 

Well, there have been a few more people that have passed away, people that I admired and looked up to.  Those times have been hard.  There have also been places that I’ve been that have changed my life.  And still lessons upon lessons that I am constantly re-learning again and again.  But since then and now listening to this song, what stands out is the first verse which says, “Night and day, I seek Your face.  I long for You in the secret place.  All I want in this life is to truly know You more.”  Along with all this I’ve also experience different types of loss.  Loss in relationships or the heartache of them.  And sometimes when those losses seem like they outway the gain, its hard to know how to continue relating to people.  At least for me it becomes an insecurity check or too much of an introspective check and or the other extreme, where I’ve been for a while, the apathetic resolve.  That’s when none of it matters.  Yuck, I don’t want to be there anymore.

Its hard to go through broken relationships or just difficulty in relationships.  In ministry, family, friends, discipleship etc. its tough when people are affected and hurt by each other.  Or when people abandon people.  After a bit of time moves on then the relationships haven’t been nurtured.  Then I get caught up in how the world responds, “Oh well, that’s life”.  Really?  I know though, that I am just as much a part of it and have even been to blame.  I am in no way less guilty.   

Anyway, what’s really cool about the paper I am writing and the song I am listening to (over and over again…the one mentioned earlier) is that it reminds me there is hope that is brought about through the gospel.  This Saving Grace or as I am writing, this hope of glory provides true change that can and promises to reconcile so much more than I can ever imagine or anticipate.  Interestingly enough, its causng me to recall God’s promise, that He has freely reconciled me to Himself .  If more people come and go, and if I get to go to more places and I know there are more lessons to learn…if all that happens, then it’ll be so cool to sing the second verse of the song which says, “As the waters cover the sea, so Your love covers me.  Guiding me on roads unknown.  I trust in You alone.  I trust in You alone!”   

So, while I sit here listening to this song I can recall the hope that I desired years ago and look at my life now and move forward to a restoration I didn’t even realize needed to take place, not just with relationships but with me.  I am realizing back then that I had nothing to give God and now I’ve come to think that I have something because of more people, more places, and more lessons.  But this longing to know Christ shouldn’t come from a heart that thinks it has something to offer the gospel.  It should come from knowing and believing that the gospel is the best offering already given by God to us.  That’s grace and something worth putting my hope in. 

ONE THING

December 14, 2007

Sometimes there are songs that just capture where I am in my thinking, desire, affections, prayers, relationships, circumstance, heart etc.  The song that does that for me now is “One Thing” by Hillsong.  Click here to listen.  Read Psalm 27 & Romans 10:13.  The lyrics read as follows:

One thing I desire
One thing I seek
To gaze upon Your beauty
And Your majesty
God of my salvation
Lifter of my head
Teach me how to live oh Lord
In Your righteousness

So I pray to You
So I pray to You

Lord Your name
Is higher than the heavens
Lord Your name
Is higher than all created things
Higher than hope
Higher than dreams
The name of the Lord

In the day of trouble
You cover me
In the secret place of refuge
Lord I will sing

I will seek Your face
Call upon Your name Jesus
All I want is You
Jesus

FULL WEEKEND!

December 10, 2007

Here’s the scoop:

  • Jared Foy & Holly Wooton got engaged Friday – YEY!!!
  • Saturday hung out with Zane (again) and went to his intramural football championship game with Ward and then to Beth’s party – the first 3 pics in the link below are form that night – the ugly sweaters should give it away. 
  • Sunday went to church with Zane and later that night we had the annual Hotchkiss Christmas Party in our lounge – man, it was a hit!!!  There were so many people there, we had singing, videos, roommate game, food, drink, more singing, more games awards aaaaand what topped it all off for me was I received a surprise 4×4.  This award is for those who have lived in Hotchkiss for four years – after the seniors received their’s, there was a processional of guys that brought me the Master’s Cup with a huge orniment decorated with all fours years I’ve been here – it was really cool (and special) and surprising – I had no idea!  
  • Here are some pictures from the party. 

BETHLEM 1, 2, 3

December 9, 2007

Sometimes I can’t explain the best things that come out of my being an RD – but I do know that one of them is having former RAs who are faithful friends now and are still ridiculously ridiculous – who, can make me laugh like none other.  Wow, I really wish I can show you how great it is to be around these guys still.   

Tonight Killa-B (great party by the way) had an Ugly Sweater Christmas party and one of the games was to group up and write a poem.  Here’s the poem Rick Dennis, Josh Ward and I wrote – this below is what I’m talking about:

(“Bethlem” because I was in rush to think of a poem and didn’t have time to write it all out when we though of it last minute…so I accidently left some letters out – meaning I mispelled it and went with it anyway…k, so think ridiculously ridiculous and read it with conviction – mind you, we actually won a prize for it).  Here you go: 

Bethlem 1, 2, 3

One Christmas night, just 1

There was a spider named Noel, not Charlotte

Noel had not 8 legs but 1

Like the night, the Christmas one

Noel wanted a tree like everyone else, not 1 but 2

So she got 1, not 2

2 days later, not 1

She carried the tree up the stairs 

Which ones? 

Both of them 

Both of them

Both of them

Ok

One leg was enough, not 2, or 3

To carry the tree that rhymes with 3

Up the hill to Jack and Jill

To fetch a pail of water

As if it really mattered,

Nothing really matters

Noel knew this to be true

Nothing really matters

Noel knew this, do you?

How about you 2? or you 3?

So, remember the 1 Christmas night,

And the 2 trees

And the number 3

That rhymes with tree.    

   

COOKING LESSONS

December 7, 2007

I’ve been trying to learn how to cook lately.  And so with that I’ve been wanting to have access to my own cooking supplies and have been purchasing kitchen appliances here and there.  Recently I bought the cheapest hand mixer at the neighborhood store – used it once Friday, used it another time Wednesday and last night I used it and it broke.  Well, it still works but not properly.  Apparently what I was trying to mix (banana bread mix from scratch…but a huge batch) threw the mixer off and now the wisks grind and hit each other.  I don’t think that’s suppose to happen – especially if it runs but doesn’t spin – hahaha! 

Oh, make sure you melt the butter more than you think –

Anyway, it all worked out and I made my banana bread.  I decided to pour it into cupcake trays – amazing!  But I left them in longer than I was suppose to – hahaha!  They didn’t burn, they just were a little hard.  I also made some cookies and Thomas helped me by making his German pancakes!  This was all for my dorm SLS meeting last night.  Cooking is exhausting!  Maybe I’ll be a chef after RD – yeah right!   

Luke 1:18-20

December 6, 2007

I read this yesterday and it really turned me inside out – like surprised me…mainly because Zacharias had an angel right in front of him and he was hung up about how God could give he and his wife a child.  There was an angel right in front of him and he was wondering what seemed impossible?  Then I was spun again because I can have the same type of CLEAR EVIDENCE right in front of me and respond in disbelief just as well.  Its quite humbling when the Word of God divides you and exposes you.

“Zacharias said to the angel, ‘How will I know this for certain? For I am an old man and my wife is advanced in years.’  The angel answered and said to him, ‘I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news.  ‘And behold, you shall be silent and unable to speak until the day when these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.”  -Luke 1:18-20

HEY!

December 3, 2007

Sometimes I wonder about the things in my life or the people that were in my life, that now aren’t as priority…and sometimes those, unfortunately can become distractions for me.  For example, I saw a former RA of mine in passing, and we haven’t talked in a while.  We use to, in fact, there was never a time that I can remember when we didn’t greet each other or just enjoyed our time together, but this time it was a quick “Hey” from the both of us – that’s it.  And then I thought about it for a brief moment and wondered, Wow, there was a time when a hug was never even a question between us, now it was down to a ‘hey’.  Then I thought, oh well, that’s just how it is.  I moved on and was thankful for him and his wife and how the Lord was good in having had that time with him – I’m sure he and I will catch up, we always do, Lord willing (this happens with family too).  Then I was lead to be thankful for the people in my life now and what the Lord allowed in this last weekend to remind me of that.  Here’s what went on:

Friday

  • I hung out with Summer just because and it was fun!  It wasn’t planned or thought out.  It just happened – not that I want to lean on that type of thing happening, though I am more prone to that…we went to coffee (oh, before that I went with Mendoza and Ryanto turn in our designs for our dorm shirts – legit is all I have to say)…anyway, after coffee and some Tim-Tams from Australia, we went to dinner at Wood-Ranch – sooooo good – then she went to bible study and then Matt Coxand I baked bannana bread for my Christmas concert guys…the Jenison brothers, Gardner and Cox were my test tasters for it – apparently they loved it – I got sick off of the smell while it was baking…I know – weird.  I’m on this cooking kick – I want to learn – my guys eat so I want to feed them =).  Its fun! 

Saturday

  • Zanecame by after his intramural football game (which they won) and he and I went to lunch at Macaroni Grill….I know, we eat big for a Saturday afternoon.  Then went back to my apartment where a couple of guys were watching the USC/UCLA game.  I picked up Summer, and watched more of the game etc.  Then later that night, Zane and Summer came with me and the MHBS to the Christmas Concerts.  Before that we met them (Eric, Jennene, Becca, Kate, Maria Sarah, Casey, Adam, Phil, Jan, Mary-Jo) at Wahoo’s and ate.  Then Charles, Amber, Esther and Rick met us at the school for the concert (its nice when two of your good friends start dating, esepcially when you can affirm it…that’s the best) – It was so fun to be with church family and friends.  After the Christmas concert, Summer, Zane and Phil helped me take a Christmas tree from the concert up to my apartment.  That’s right, it pays to be a music alum of the college…I think because Hotchkiss is so Christmas’ed out that I wanted my apartment to be as well – anyway, I laughed so hard with those three – you should ask Phil and Zane to give their rendition of the hand bell choir and you should come by and check out my tree =)

Sunday

  • Went to church and heard a great message on 2 Cor. 1:1-11.  It was great because it convicted the heck out of me – seriously, I wanted to dig a little hole and crawl in it.  It made me think a lot about my ministry in the dorm and a few relationships that have been very discouraging.  Today, I prayed that I would not be self deceived and it was difficult to hear how wrong I am and to try but to try and distinguish that from hurt.  But I was also encouraged because indeed, the Lord provides help and comfort.  That actually came through His spirit in those that are in my life and this weekend.  Anyway, after church we ate potluck, greened the church with church family.  My group was Team Garland (Becca [team leader], Sam, David, Justin Williams, Phil, Larry, Andrew Parker and me).  We delighted, and puffed those suckers (the garland, that is).  Anyway, after that Summer and I watched some of Zane’s intrumural football semi-final game (which they won) and then did some work.  Then Bible study at Jan’s (which by the way, your kitchen is amazing – Bible study was so great!!!).  Man, I really do love my bible study – you can’t beat it!!!  I was sooooooooooo encouraged tonight and challeneged to live better and love God more and study Him more and love Him more…man!  so good! – the conviction earlier in the day at church was even more confirmed – I realized that I am not doing as well as I think (deceive) myself to be – 1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us”.   After that was the SLS Christmas party at the skating rink – that was a lot of fun! 

My life is full and I am thankful.  I am not always thankful or content.  But this weekend I was and yes I was a little distracted with not having certain things happen or certain people around me – but I was reminded that the Lord has given me now and given me time with specific people now – some new and some faithful (inspite of my lack of faithfulness).  That former RA of mine and I want to get together – if we could we probably would meet up a lot more – but he’s married and he goes to a different church – we joke because we live 3 mins away from each other, driving distance and we don’t ever see each other – but he is faithful to call me whenever he drops his sister-in-law off at the school – I like that =).  It was nice to see Dan in passing – first of all, it was great to see him and then it was just great to learn what I learned as a result of it. 

Moral of the story?  work hard at relationships – near or far – they’re worth it (I guess you have to decide that)…you may end up losing them, until then fight hard…easier said than done, I know – I’m being reminded of it especially with people I haven’t connected with in a while continue to pursue me even if and when I suck at it.  Thanks for keeping up with me – your display of comfort in time of need always comes at the right time…you know who you are! 

MHBS

December 2, 2007

I’ve been a part of a bible study lead by the Margrave’s for the last 3 1/2 years now and I LOVE IT!!!  Here are some reasons why:

  • its like family
  • no matter how different it is every year with different faces, its always cool to sharpen why I’m there by why other people are there as well; veterans and new comers alike!
  • the Margrave’s (I love Eric and Jennene!!!)
  • our singing time
  • time in the Word of God together
  • going through the sermon and really working through it
  • time spent outside of Bible study together – like the Christmas concert and dinner at Wahoo’s before – so fun…glad it worked out with all that and almost everyone was able to make it
  • I can bring someone and it being very welcoming for them (and for me)
  • how convicting it is and challenging
  • Eric’s teaching
  • food at the end =)
  • prayer list for us during the week
  • going to a home (either the Margrave’s or Jan’s) once a week
  • how much I miss it when I’m not there
  • the wisdom and persective from older people
  • prayer time

I am very thankful to have the Margrave Home Bible Study in my life – I’m realizing the value of having it (more and more) – not just for my sake but even for the building up of the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:15).  I hope and pray I continue to learn and grow in this as I try and be an encouragement to them! 

Thanks Margrave’s for serving us so much!